Beware!!

Subject: This is a new technique used by robbers.

Please take notice of this. If you are driving at night and are attacked with eggs, do not
operate the wiper and spray any water. Because eggs mixed with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5%.

Then you are forced to stop at the road side and become a
victim of robbers. This is a new technique used by robbers.
Please inform your friends and relatives and take this seriously.
Pass it on even if you don't drive.

Mohammed is now Johnny( Hilarious!)

Mohammed is now Johnny

Mohammed, an Arab child, entered his classroom on the first day of school in Ohio. "What is your name?" – asked the teacher. "Mohammed". . .. – answered the kid. "You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny," –replied the teacher. In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" – asked his mother. "My name is not Mohammed. I’m in America and now my name is Johnny." "Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" – and she beat him. Then she called his father and he too beat him. The next day Mohammed returned to school.. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Johnny"? "Well ma'am, 4 hours after becoming an American, I was attacked by two Arabs."

Cricketers!! You'll love this one!!

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his standard response to the first question after winning

But this time.....

After Winning the Match

Tony Greg : So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!

Inzamam : Thanks Tony?,?.! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.

Tony fainted!!!!! !

Carnation Milk! ( read with caution!)

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940's, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with 'Carnation Milk is best of all.'

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black limo pulled up in front of her house. A man got out and said, 'Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $2,000 even though we will not be able to use it!'

WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM?

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.
'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you,I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'

'Nonsense,' the doctor said. 'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to

the gene pool.'

'It isn't possible,' the man insisted. 'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations..'

'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. Howoften do you have sex???'

The man seemed a bit ashamed.

'I've been working very hard for the past year.We only made love once or twice every few months.'

'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.

‘It's rust’ !!

PERFORMANCE Vs POSITION

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not ?

The guy replies: I am Paandi, Auto driver from Chennai!

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Paandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so so, Head Priest of the so so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?!'

'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.
'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people really PRAYED'


It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts!!!!!

You got to love this one!!

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can You tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right." The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven." The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office."